I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
God I need to hump something, right now.
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