That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
