Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
