toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I have demons in me.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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