i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
