sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
