what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
