he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
