I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
