She just used a chaser for red wine.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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