Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize