Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
