Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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