remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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