So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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