She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
