Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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