So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
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How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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