this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
