There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
