He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
