I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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