Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
