So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
