remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
