We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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