My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
