Just fell off a train. Bad.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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