Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
