Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
