NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm getting married
To pizza
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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