Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
