Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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