You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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