More tranny stories later!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
