We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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