I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
vagina is talking i cant
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
