Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
