"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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