you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
