He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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