6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
one two three fourrrrnication!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i dont even know how to be here
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
