If i come over, it means nothing
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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