I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
