I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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