we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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