Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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