I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
