yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
