Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
