but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
