He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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