Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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