Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He shit in the fireplace
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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