Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this beer tastes like vomit already
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm always down for nudity.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
