Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
