just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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