perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
