Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
