Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
