please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
