I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
