He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
