Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
