Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
