Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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