i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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