Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
