you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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