Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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