the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Its about making memories worth repressing
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
