i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
