what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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